Assertiveness: discover the keys to powerful communication
Léa Zolli Durand
Léa Zolli Durand

Assertiveness: discover the keys to powerful communication

Assertiveness, a term derived from the English word “assertiveness,” describes the ability to express ideas and beliefs clearly and firmly while maintaining positive relationships. This skill is essential for harmonious interactions, whether in conflict resolution, negotiation, or simply in daily communication.

In this article, we'll explore assertiveness, its benefits, and strategies for developing it. Learn how this skill can improve your personal and professional relationships while increasing the visibility of your content with our guide to assertiveness.

The three crutches of assertiveness

What happens under stress? What happens when we disagree that can make us lose our assertiveness? There are three possibilities. Or I really want to achieve the goals, I want my ideas to be listened to, I want to achieve my result and therefore, I will instead put forward behaviors that are a little bit dominant, a little bit pushy, a little bit pushy, a little bit in absolute conviction. Rather, it is called the “aggressive” trend. I do not necessarily want to attack the person, but because of my desire to achieve results, to convince, to move forward, I can have so-called aggressive tendencies.


At the other end of the chain, in a situation of stress, disagreement, conflict, I may tend to run away or be passive. “I still want the relationship to go well. I want us to continue to get along, so I'm not going to say anything or I'm not going to say much or I'm not going to say much or I'm going to submit.” You understand that flight, passivity, not much is happening.


There may also be the third solution, conscious or unconscious, called manipulation, which is an awkward tendency to try to be assertive, but doing it wrong. That is to say sometimes, I say: “No, but I would like us to do that” and then I am quite firm. And then after that, I say, “Excuse me, maybe I was a bit firm. Look, we're going to be nice, we're going to have lunch together.” And then finally, by dint of oscillating between a tendency to be a bit aggressive and a tendency to be a bit nice, nice, etc., the person feels manipulated. Even if it's not what you're doing voluntarily.


This kind of path between nice, firm, firm, nice, etc., it gives a feeling of manipulation. So, the whole path of life is to say to yourself: “In stressful situations where you are uncomfortable, where you are pushed a little bit by yourself, a conflict, a disagreement, a situation that is complicated, in the communication that I have with the other person, how can I remain assertive? ”


How do you stay assertive?

Remaining assertive has a lot of advantages, because it means being firm on the merits, that is to say what I have to say, to express my requests, to express my needs, to express my ideas, to express my points of view, while being flexible in form, in other words, in listening, in exchange, in dialogue, taking into account what the other person says.


So in these difficult times, what is your natural crutch? Do you want to dominate, achieve your results, be right and therefore would you rather adopt the aggressive strategy? Instead, do you want to maintain quality relationships, not make waves, make sure that everything is fine, not confront each other and you will adopt the strategy of flight, passivity? Or do you do a bit of both and then it depends on the case and people say to themselves: “With you, we don't know which feet to dance on.”


Assertiveness is a real work of a lifetime. We still have all of our crutches. Finding your crutch is already a good point because I know that I need to make a small internal stop by saying: “What is going on? Am I happy with the exchange? Am I happy with reciprocity? Am I really talking to the other person to reach a common goal? ”


Take this reflex of the assertive who is influential, who expresses his ideas with tranquility, who listens, who does not have to always agree, who can change his mind if he believes that the other person is right. It's building assertiveness together.


It's still daring. To dare to have the courage to say, to dare to have the courage to express yourself when it is useful, without aggressiveness, but it is still to position yourself in the system. In summary, being assertive really means developing your ability to influence, in the sense that it is a way of being listened to while listening to the other, and of generating constructive dialogues.


So, to find your crutch, you can do the mini test that you will find in the link below. You can also, of course, work with Talentis, which has expert coaches in developing influence and assertiveness, since this is an essential position and skill as a leader.


If you want to know more, feel free to subscribe to our Talentis Coach YouTube channel. Like, comment, and also come and discover our LinkedIn page. Contact us, Talentis is always at your disposal to build individual or collective coaching systems.

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